I DO fancy Barbra Streisand

first_imgWhilst growing up, during our adolescenses, we are all faced with manyburning life questions, that we need to consider, deeply, before we canbridge them and move forward. Can total socialism or capitalism reallywork? Do you believe in God? Are you going to lead your life for yourbenefit or for the benefit of others? Do you, or do you not, fancy BarbraStreisand?This morning, whilst Youtubing Bee Gees videos (have a major Pam Statementsannouncement re the Bee Gees later) I came across the above video of BarbraStreisand and Barry Gibb. I watched it and, whilst doing so, suddenlyrealised that I now fancy Barbra Streisand – BIG TIME.There is no way back. I have been converted. When I was fourteen I owned aone eighth share of a greyhound called ‘Master Butcher’, his pet name was‘Major’. He was trained by Bill Masters, in Albourne, and I used to visithim every weekend with my dad. By the time we had finished stroking,walking, and examining him as if we were greyhound experts, my dad wasalways gasping for a pint and it was traditional for us to abscond to thepub next door. This was before drink-driving was dangerous and the old manwould have one or, more likely, three sharpeners, before merrily driving ushome. When in the pub, it was also traditional, that he would impose half apint of Guinness on me, ignoring my protestations, saying over me ‘You won’tlike it at first but stick with it, son. If you start early you’ll love iteven sooner’. Good system – to be fair. But I actually think that BarbraStreisand is not entirely dissimilar to Guinness, jellied-eels, sprouts, andother such tastes that mature with age. Let me help you…let me set youfree…I know, I know, it’s the nose that’s the issue. The trick is, though, tolook at it as a quirk rather than an affliction. Once you can do this youhave liberated yourself and stepped into an entirely new world of women tofancy; Steffi Graf also included. Just try it. Do that for me.In other news:Pam Statements’ first and most pressing job of the day was to download‘Guilty’, by Barry Gibb and Barbra Streisand, onto my Ipod. She openlylaughed at this and I was most put out! I questioned her over this afrontand after a bit of backtracking she gave in and conceded that she DOESin-fact like the Bee Gees. In this confession she actually referred to themas the ‘Gibb Brothers’ but I think we can take that as being damning enoughto go all the way and refer to her as a full on Bee Gees fan, don’t youblog? This will shatter, in an instant, her grunge concert image. But aswith the people I am converting to fancy Barbra Streisand, I am in factsetting her free. Lofty, please go onto the Twitter. Please hashtagPamHerou, BeeGees, and MassiveFan. Also include an immediate link to Pam’sFacebook page. Pam – you’ll thank me for this one day – believe me.John Terry has left the country and Poland is now enjoying the pleasure ofhis company. Seeing as he is highly unlikely to be held at Our Majesty’s‘pleasure’ after his upcoming court case, possibly it could be arranged forhim to lose his passport over there and be replaced in the UK by a nice andpolite, hard-working Polish person? One can only hope!Over-and-out, Ben xlast_img read more